Weed Whack-ccident

I learned something very interesting today. If you are attempting to make very small trenches, a weed whacker works excellently. Obviously this isn't the intended purpose of said appliance, but put one in my very capable* hands and you've got trench-city.

Apparently, well not really "apparently" since I already knew this, when you use a tool with a running motor, it changes its perceived weight as you move it about. Two key components to utilizing a weed whacker are a running motor and moving it about. As it would seem, my strong and beefy** arms were not exactly up to this task today.

I tried using the weed whacker the other day but I couldn't get it started. I determined it was an a**hole and gave up.

AV showed me how to start it again yesterday evening so I tried again today. I was planning on doing this later, but the sky suddenly clouded over and I freaked out; AV's having friends up for the Fourth and I don't want my house to look like a total piece of crap***.

Three tries and the a**hole starts right up. I headed around the back of the house to get started. I pulled the trigger and pointed the whack-y part at the weeds growing in between the stones. Nothing happened. I let out more string. Nothing happened. I leaned sideways too far and dropped the head of the weed whacker into the ground. Something happened.

Little bits of grass and weed whacker string sprayed over my entire lower body. Then dirt. A lot of dirt. I jerked the weed whacker back up and, while the path was now free of weeds, it was also free of fill between the stones.

I kept working.

I managed to dig five more trenches, drop the "blades" into the good**** grass and tear it all out, and do an overall excellent***** job.

I put the weed whacker away and surveyed my work. Ah yes, I see a job in landscaping in my future.

I am an artist. I echo the natural variations of human life and personality with my work in grass clipping. The long grasses symbolize humans' natural curiosity and desires. The medium length grass is a symbol for our work ethic and normalcy and the short grass, of course are the outliers, the misfits and outcasts.******

Cheers,
Red



*totally worthless
**tiny and slightly embarrassing
***I don't want them to know how lazy and disorganized we really are
****I say "good" because there's actually some there. We don't get a lot of rain and the soil is super sandy so the grass is awkward and sparse at best.

***** piss poor

****** No, dude... I'm just really bad at cutting the lawn.