Thursday, March 31, 2011

We would like to extend to you a special offer....

Lately I have been receiving TONS of email and junk mail from wedding vendors because I went to a bridal show. Mostly I just kind of skim it and "go, yep, I live in a different state"* and trash it. It is very much starting to get obnoxious and I'm pretty sure three years from now they're still going to be sending me this junk. But, hey whatever, go ahead and waste your time. All in all, it really hasn't bothered me too much until today.

Today I received a letter and coupons from a place that offers "Medical Weight Loss". I am LIVID. I did not approach or speak to any weight loss "vendors" or booths. I have NEVER signed up for any weight loss emails, newsletters, ect. There is NO reason for this company to assume that I might need their services. If you would like to lose some weight for your wedding or for some other reason, that's awesome, more power to you. But this was not a targeted mailing, this was a blanket mailing sent out to (I'm assuming) everyone who attended the bridal show.

Obviously the bridal show has proceeded to distribute (or sell) my personal information. Or, at the very least, my current address. I am not okay with this. I am even less okay with the fact that I am receiving mailings telling me, essentially, that I am not good enough the way I am. NOBODY should be receiving letters like this. "Hey, you're totally stressed about your wedding and seeing all your new in-laws, and P.S. you're FAT!"

All I can say is if I start get letters about plastic surgery for "your upcoming wedding" somebody's going to start losing body parts. And it's not going to be me.

Cheers,
Red

*I went to a bridal show in my hometown but I don't live there anymore

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Daniel Boone: Helper Cat

Daniel Boone is a very helpful guy, what with all those extra toes and all. The other day he even helped us out by cleaning the shower.



Excellent work, buddy.

Cheers,
Red

Music: Theme song from the Daniel Boone TV show... that I did not know existed.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Dress-up Doll: Part II

A few days after the David's Bridal fiasco I went to a bridal boutique. The consultant showed me the racks and racks of dresses and explained the pricing breakdown. Dresses under a thousand dollars on the back wall, then two thousand, three, five, "and you could even go up to like forty thousand". HOLY WEDDING, BATMAN!!! Forty thousand dollars??? Does it come with a car hidden inside it?? So that made me a bit nervous.

We pulled out a bunch of dresses and went into the fitting room. Yes, "room" singular. There was a big room with mirrors all over the place and some chairs. You could either get dressed in the middle of the room or go to the other side and put on the dress in a little curtained stall. Well, if the point is to try on multiple dresses, I'm not going to go stomping back and forth in a dress that I may not even like, so I opted to change in the middle of the room. We were the only ones there originally so it wasn't completely weird, only mostly weird.

I got another smushy girdle bra and started in on the dresses. These were "designer dresses" though, so the store only had ONE of each. This meant that a lot of them were totally trashed... They were dirty and torn and apparently only in one size. Because I'm so small I got to be clipped into my dresses with big metal shop clips, the ones with the orange plastic bits on the ends. Most of the dresses felt and seemed pretty awkward since there seemed to be FEET of dress pinned in the back.

I didn't really have a great time, the dresses looked and felt dirty and I felt really disgusting after trying them on. I was also discouraged since I couldn't tell what the dresses would really feel or look like without enormous metal clips holding them onto my body....

Hilariously, when we were about half done, my polar opposite walked in. A blond, Southern beauty queen, at least twice my size. Where I was looking at close-fitting narrow silhouettes, she was looking at "princess" dresses with huge trains and poofy ball-gown bottoms. The dresses were huge swirls of white with feathers and fabric that must have weighed more than me. She had to be pinned into her dresses as well, but not to make them smaller. Her consultant was connecting clips to each other to try to keep the dress closed.  Seeing both of this happening in the same room made me think they maybe should have gotten more dress sizes and fewer garage clips...

At the end of the day, though I was feeling defeated and dirty, I did find THE dress... I've been trying to find it elsewhere because it costs over a thousand dollars at the boutique O_o

And so the search continues...

Cheers,
Red

Dress-up Doll: Part I

When I was at home a few weeks ago I went to a couple of bridal stores and tried on dresses. It was a very strange experience to say the least. Normally I buy my clothes at places like Target, Macy's, or JC Penny... I just go in there and go "hmm... I need pants." Then I go to the "pants" area and I find some pants and I put them on. Then I look in the mirror in the dressing room (which, btw, I am in alone) and go, "good pants" or "bad pants" and then I buy them (or don't). Although, I suppose I should preface this with: first I look in the "sale" section for said pants because I am a cheap-a**.

However, when you go wedding dress shopping this isn't exactly the process that you go through. When you go into a wedding dress store you have to "sign in/up" because they track the dresses you're interested in (I think?). Then you're assigned a "bridal consultant" who is going to find dresses you might be interested in and (I did not realize this) help you put them on.

Originally I was planning to sew my own dress, but as it turns out, there aren't too many patterns for wedding dresses. I also have a very specific look I want and there aren't any dresses that are even similar enough that I could alter. And... I'm not an excellent seamstress. I'm good, but not great so whatever I make wouldn't be as nice as what I would be seeing in the stores. So, plan number two. I sketched out the type of dress I am looking for and brought it in to the bridal stores.

When I got to the store, I showed my picture to the consultant and they tried to come up with dresses that might match what I was looking for. The look I want is fairly uncommon so there wasn't anything that matched perfectly so I ended up trying on a couple of different styles to figure out what I was really looking for.

I went to David's Bridal first. When the consultant showed me to the dressing room she asked me my bra and pants sizes. Um... what? I assumed this had to do with the size of the dress or something. Nope... This was actually for a bra .. thingy... to use to wear when trying on dresses. It was like a girdle or something, super tight and constricting and I couldn't put it on by myself because there were like a million hooks and eyes up the back. Bridal checklist: Feel like a smushed sausage? Check.

After I was decked out in my excellent smushy girdle-bra, the consultant brought in some dresses. She helped me put them on (which was weird) and I felt like a cupcake. It didn't really help that sizes around 2 and 4 are not really common so the dresses were a tad big. I couldn't believe trying on some of those huge poofy dresses you see in pictures, I felt lost in pertty much everything I tried on. I didn't feel like a beautiful princess, I felt like a kid playing dress-up and it didn't feel all that great.

I didn't find anything that looked like I had imagined and nothing had that "OMG I AM SO BEAUTIFUL" reaction. I'd need to continue with the dress search.

Cheers,
Red

Thursday, March 24, 2011

House Hunters AV Edition!

So let's start with a bit of history. In the pasts 6 years I have lived in 9 different apartments/houses and have moved more than 20 times. Red has also lived in 9 different places and moved across the world and back. Let's just say, to put it kindly, we are absolutely sick of moving and renting.

To touch on past quality, I will delve into a few of the lovely dives we lived in.

My sophomore year I moved into a studio with a bed that fell out of the wall. Amazingly, it was pretty comfy. The one down side about the bed attached to the wall, is that you get to know your neighbor and his girl friend a bit more personally than you would like. At 2 am precisely they would get it on (you 'prolly know where this is going). Since our beds were connected to the same wall, when they were rockin', so was I. Since I also didn't have cable and my TV only got one channel, I watched a ton of Star Trek at 2 am....
You can see the bed with the closet doors (isn't that nice wood paneling!).

When I got my co-op in Kentucky, I moved into a very nice, large 2 bedroom for about $300 a month. Sometimes the quality of the apartment does not clue you into the quality of the neighbors. I remember watching a lady put her children through an empty apartment window so she and her boyfriend could steal the appliances. You might wonder why these quality people had to include their small children in this adventure, well quite simply put, they were too fat to get through the window.


Here is the only semi alright picture of the Ky apartment (yeah that is pyramid guitar hero, not much to do in that state).


The house Red rented at school for Super Senior Semester was not too bad... once we cleaned it for a day straight but cleaning cannot fix the code violations. The previous tenets had started a "small" fire in the kitchen destroying the gas stove. The solution the landlord came up with was to replace the stove with electric and run the 220v with a long extension cord through a door way and plug it into the outlet for the dryer*. Don't worry about cutting the cord in two with the door or cooking and doing laundry at the same time.

Clearly not a safety issue!

At the moment we are living in the nicest place either of us have ever rented, with some of the best landlords we have ever had. Unfortunately, with my new job I am driving 130 miles a day and between gas and rent, it is just not working. Not to mention being on the road 2 hours (in good weather) a day. So we started looking at rentals close to work, and they are just garbage. One landlord actually told me about a great house with a one car garage, all I would need to do is fix the hole in it and replace the garage door. Not to mention the majority of rentals are also for sale and we could be given 30 days to leave at anytime.

Then we discovered the $11,000 house that needs some work. That is less than rent and gas money for a year at the moment. So, to say the least, it has got us looking to buy something, if nothing else but sometwhere we can survive in for a year and not waste money fixing a rental.

Stay tuned for an interesting adventure on top of an already packed year...moving, wedding, cats, motorcycles...the list doesn't stop.

*You can never run an electrical cord through a doorway

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Skippyjon Jones and the Home Invasion

No written post today, just a video of Skippy protecting us from those a**hole birds hanging out on the porch.


Beware beware beware!!!

Cheers!
Red

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Wedding Flowers

I've been thinking about wedding flowers lately. This is not something that I generally tend to think about*. So I'm not sure how to go about figuring out what kind of flowers I want to have. I tend to have fairly severe allergies to flowers and pollen, so I need something that doesn't have a super strong smell. I'm not sure how to look that up... Although it did just occur to me that I could just go to a florist around here to look at flowers then talk to whoever I want to use for the wedding.

The other problem is that the only flowers I do really want grow in Australia and Hawaii... So I can't get them, at least not for a reasonable price.

But anyways, I don't know much about flowers and I can't just google "flowers" because that would take years.... So I am trying to figure out is what kinds of flowers would be avaliable in November since flowers that are in season are cheaper (or so I've heard). It would also narrow down the search from like a bazillion to... fewer than that. I did find a couple of sites listing "November Wedding Flowers" but they had things like tulips and daffodils on those lists, which I thought were spring flowers? So I am rather confused.

Needless to say, I didn't really get anywhere with my search today...


But... frangipanis!!

There are also white ones with yellow and deep red ones. I wish I lived somewhere warm so I could at least try to grow them...

Cheers,

Red


*and by this I mean, I never think about it ever.

Read to me!

As I said before, I volunteer on Tuesdays and Wednesdays with elementary school students who need help reading. I've been working with my Tuesday Reading Buddy since September or so. When we started he had a lot of difficulty and he still isn't too enthused about reading in general.

The half hour reading slot goes like this: he complains, he refuses to read any of the books I have picked out, he picks another book, he whines about it again, he reads the book, takes the online test on it, then complains some more about having to read another book. And repeat repeat repeat. But, TODAY he actually got right into reading! WE READ THREE BOOKS TODAY!!!! I am so proud and excited!!!

And to top it off, this March is reading month so they've been writing down the titles of the books they read and posting them in the library. He likes to draw little pictures on the papers with the titles. When I asked him if he liked art he said "yeah and I'm really good at it". Then he told me that "when I grow up I want to be a writer. A writer and a drawer because I want to draw books."

THIS IS THE GREATEST EVER!! I am so very proud! Congratulations little Reading Buddy, you're doing TOTALLY AWESOME!!

Cheers!
Red

Monday, March 21, 2011

Dangerous Dining

AV and I had a dinner party on Friday. It made me feel fancy! Yes, the menu was chicken enchiladas and beer, but I still felt fancy. I secretly wanted to use my tea cups, but I didn't really think a bunch of 20-something guys would appreciate that...

I invited a couple of the younger guys from where I used to work and we had a really good time. Or at least, AV and I did. I'm assuming our guests did as well since they showed up at 7pm and didn't leave until like 11. I did feel bad for AV though, he had a ridiculously long day at work Thursday and he needed to go to bed early. We didn't really expect them to stay too long since we just had the enchiladas but we just must be that fascinating.

This was also the first time we had unfamiliar/non family people in our house, so we weren't sure how the cats would react. They were actually kind of strange... Normally cats tend to hide when there are new people around, but all four of our guys were hanging out in the kitchen with us. They were all really good... except for Daniel... Dannie has a terrible habit of jumping or stepping on people's... "personal areas". One of our guests may have gotten a horrible* surprise when Dannie decided he needed a little extra love. The perils of finally having a lap-cat....


Cheers,
Red

*painful

Thursday, March 17, 2011

She blinded me with... SCIENCE!

I judged a Science Fair today*. I learned some cool stuff, like the Stroop Effect and that hamsters have a really good sense of smell. I was disappointed though, some of the kids I judged didn't do nearly enough research to have a good (or correct) project. I'm not sure how much of that was laziness and how much was that they didn't get enough help/mentoring.

I've actually never been to a science fair... We had something called "Discovery Day" I think, where the kids in the gifted program had projects out with their research, but we didn't have to do experiments, although some people did. You were required to pick a topic and some questions to answer. Then you researched those questions and did a couple of projects, like build dioramas, make posters, or disassemble something. So it was fairly similar except you didn't have a hypothesis.

But what I really took away from this was that when I have kids we're going to have to work hard to make sure they understand how to do research (and to not cite Wikipedia!) since I guess that's not really part of the curriculum anymore...


Cheers!
Red



*Okay, you caught me... I really only put up this blog so I could share this video. Duurr hurrhurr ...




Also, ever seen Devo's "Whip It"? Seriously, wtf...

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

BEWARE BRIDEZILLASS!

I am not one of those people who has planned their wedding from childhood, nor have a dreamed of it, or really have any plans for it at all. So I figured I'd need a little advice or something. I thought maybe I should go to a bridal show sometime just to see what exactly all this hoop-la is about. I happened to be back in Cinci when the "Bridalrama Winter Showcase" was in town. It was advertised as a "Bridal Expo" so I was excited.

I LOVE going to Expos. I have been to auto expos, boat expos, hunting expos, body art expos, and SEXPO in Perth*. What's not to love? There's stuff to look at, stuff to touch, sometimes things to eat, and the ultimate winner - FREE STUFF. I may be living in the "real world" now, but I'm still stuck in the college student "OMG FREE STUFF! I'LL HAVE FIVE...HUNDRED" habit.

So my parents and I went downtown to check out this "Bridal Expo". First we had to wait in line for tickets (which I love)** and pay oodles of money (which I ALSO love)***. When we finally got into the convention hall it was PACKED. This is the point where I finally noticed the warning bells in my head. I do not like being around loads of people. I do not like people touching or talking to me. DING DONG DING DONG!! This is not going to be a good place for me to be....

Masses of people aside, I was totally overwhelmed by the contents of this "Expo"... When I think of weddings I think of a white dress, some tuxedos, cake, and a party afterwards. I didn't really think that there was all that much to it...

There were booths for cakes, photographers, reception halls, boats (for party cruises), boats (for dinner cruises), restaurants (for hosting rehearsal dinners), restaurants (for hosting weddings), hotels, travel agencies, spas, jewelers, caterers, limo services, DJ's, "party planners", wedding planners, insurance agencies, and a company that decorates with balloons. At this point my head basically exploded.

I quickly got tired of the barrage of questions from the vendors and their insinuation that I was stupid and screwed in terms of planning.
"When's the wedding?"
"November..."
"THIS YEAR???"
"Um.... yes?"
"OH! That's not much time!**** Do you have a (insert name of stupid item said vendor is attempting to sell me)??"

I soon resorted to shrugging and telling everyone that yes, I already had a photographer, DJ, honeymoon, and balloon decorating company. All in all it was basically a nightmare that just freaked me out for no apparent reason and didn't get me anywhere. From this experience, I have determined that I will not be frequenting these Bridal Expos, not only because of the far too many, far too exited people, but also there was not really any good free stuff for me to have.

But... on the plus side, there was LOADS of cake. And I LOVE cake.

Cheers.
Red


*If you're hearing warning bells based on the expos I've previously attended, you're a much smarter fish than I am... Also, SEXPO was both hilarious and absolutely horrifying.
**No, I do not actually love this.
***No, I definitely do not actually love this.
****WTF? The wedding's in NOVEMBER. That's NINE months from now! How is that no time? I could probably pop out a baby faster than that!!

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Meow Mix

Before we get too far along, I'd better do the run down on the cats. As I said before, we have four. Yes, that is a lot. Yes, we know that. No, we're not "crazy cat people".

Left to right: Jesse James, Ned Kelly, Skippyjon Jones, Daniel Boone

We started out innocently enough...

I had planned to get a cat my junior year of college and found an apartment that would allow it. But as it turned out, the management was less than stellar* there and they decided to change the terms of the lease after we had signed. Legal? No. Could we still get evicted because we were college students in a college town? Yes. So, no cat for me.

I finally got the opportunity in the summer before my 5th year** and I jumped on it. I always wanted two kittens to grow up together (and be absolutely adorable together) so I went for it. Long story short, I ended up with two male kittens sometime in July 2009, Jesse James and Ned Kelly. And yes, they are both named after violent outlaws.

AV also was looking for a kitten, but he was a little more planned out than my process of "that one is furry and is, as far as I can tell, not going to murder me immediately". He grew up hearing stories about Siamese cats and was set on having one. He found one on PetFinder and when we went to go look, fell totally in love. So Skippyjon Jones*** came home too.

The Three Bandits grew up together while we were at school but were separated when I graduated two semesters ahead of AV. They were finally reunited for good when AV and I moved up to Michigan together.

You would think three cats crashing about the house would be enough, but clearly we're suckers for punishment.

It kills me that there are so many animals in shelters and rescues and I wanted to make a difference by adopting an adult cat as adult animals are difficult to place. AV and I had talked more than once about adopting an adult cat somewhere in the foggy future. But as fate would have it, on a routine grocery shopping trip we found Daniel Boone.

Dannie looked enormous in his crate next to the other cats, and I was drawn to him. It turned out that he was a polydactyl (something AV always wanted). They told us he was friendly and a "lap kitty" (something I was dying to have). So he came home with us. We later found out that he is also a munchkin, so while his body is the same size as Jesse's, he stands about an inch shorter.

It took a while, but now all four get along ridiculously well and I routinely wake up in the middle of the night sandwiched between at least two of them. Even through the cat hair and litter box changings, I really couldn't be happier with our choices.

Cheers,
Red


*Totally shady
** yes, it took me four and a half years to graduate
*** named for the wild kitty boy in the books by Judy Schachner

Super Special Adventure!

AV and I are embarking on our biggest adventure yet! Bigger than Purdue* and bigger than Australia**!

In November we are going to be getting MARRIED (cue trumpets and confetti)!! HORRAY!

We're both young, neither of us is particularly religious, and I haven't been to a wedding in like 10 years. So we're going to be having quite a non-traditional situation on our hands. Oh, and did I mention that I have something like 50 cousins? So non-traditional and HUGE.

I should also probably mention that I'm an artist and since we're both engineers we're big do-it-yourselfers. And we don't want to pay the equivalent of a brand new automobile for a one day event.

So, I'm set on having a huge, memorable wedding that doesn't break the bank but is also fabulous and exciting. Good thing we have never done anything even remotely like this before. Should be just a walk in the park.... Stick around and you'll be able to follow our adventures*** in wedding planning.

Cheers!
Red

*We both graduated from here
**I studied here for a semester and AV came to visit me :D
***crisises

Welcome to the Adventure Blog!

AV and I (Red) are 24 year old mechanical engineers currently living in Western Michigan. This blog will chronicle our adventures together including (but never limited to):

Cat care (we have FOUR. There's so much hair in our house :( )
Fish care (I have goldfish and I haven't even killed them yet!)
Motorcycles (we have two of THESE, one in Blue and one in Special Edition Lime Green)
Off-Roading (we also have dirt bikes and mountain bikes)
and
Cooking (I am completely awesome at it)

Cheers and stay tuned!
Red


You can also see more of our previous projects and adventures at:
PSWE - AV and I were/are both involved with the Society of Women Engineers (SWE) Race Team
The Martini Man - AV's dad is known as "The Martini Man", find some of his best recipes here
Little Red Shoes - Red's personal artist website
DeviantART - More of Red's art