BEWARE BRIDEZILLASS!

I am not one of those people who has planned their wedding from childhood, nor have a dreamed of it, or really have any plans for it at all. So I figured I'd need a little advice or something. I thought maybe I should go to a bridal show sometime just to see what exactly all this hoop-la is about. I happened to be back in Cinci when the "Bridalrama Winter Showcase" was in town. It was advertised as a "Bridal Expo" so I was excited.

I LOVE going to Expos. I have been to auto expos, boat expos, hunting expos, body art expos, and SEXPO in Perth*. What's not to love? There's stuff to look at, stuff to touch, sometimes things to eat, and the ultimate winner - FREE STUFF. I may be living in the "real world" now, but I'm still stuck in the college student "OMG FREE STUFF! I'LL HAVE FIVE...HUNDRED" habit.

So my parents and I went downtown to check out this "Bridal Expo". First we had to wait in line for tickets (which I love)** and pay oodles of money (which I ALSO love)***. When we finally got into the convention hall it was PACKED. This is the point where I finally noticed the warning bells in my head. I do not like being around loads of people. I do not like people touching or talking to me. DING DONG DING DONG!! This is not going to be a good place for me to be....

Masses of people aside, I was totally overwhelmed by the contents of this "Expo"... When I think of weddings I think of a white dress, some tuxedos, cake, and a party afterwards. I didn't really think that there was all that much to it...

There were booths for cakes, photographers, reception halls, boats (for party cruises), boats (for dinner cruises), restaurants (for hosting rehearsal dinners), restaurants (for hosting weddings), hotels, travel agencies, spas, jewelers, caterers, limo services, DJ's, "party planners", wedding planners, insurance agencies, and a company that decorates with balloons. At this point my head basically exploded.

I quickly got tired of the barrage of questions from the vendors and their insinuation that I was stupid and screwed in terms of planning.
"When's the wedding?"
"November..."
"THIS YEAR???"
"Um.... yes?"
"OH! That's not much time!**** Do you have a (insert name of stupid item said vendor is attempting to sell me)??"

I soon resorted to shrugging and telling everyone that yes, I already had a photographer, DJ, honeymoon, and balloon decorating company. All in all it was basically a nightmare that just freaked me out for no apparent reason and didn't get me anywhere. From this experience, I have determined that I will not be frequenting these Bridal Expos, not only because of the far too many, far too exited people, but also there was not really any good free stuff for me to have.

But... on the plus side, there was LOADS of cake. And I LOVE cake.

Cheers.
Red


*If you're hearing warning bells based on the expos I've previously attended, you're a much smarter fish than I am... Also, SEXPO was both hilarious and absolutely horrifying.
**No, I do not actually love this.
***No, I definitely do not actually love this.
****WTF? The wedding's in NOVEMBER. That's NINE months from now! How is that no time? I could probably pop out a baby faster than that!!